“It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye.
A sufferer of PTSD and General Anxiety Disorder, I am acutely aware that stress is a major factor in our everyday lives today. However, with two young teenage boys, and a 9-year-old with severe Dyslexia and Dyscalculia, this Stress Awareness Month, I wanted to find out how stress impacts our children's lives, especially during the current pandemic. And what tools we can use to reduce this and allow them to deal with stress in a managed way.
Stress is caused when things feel like they are getting too much. For children this may mean they feel pressure about schoolwork, a friendship dispute, or because they are being bullied. This last year has changed our children’s lives beyond recognition, with schools shut to most pupils, the lack of routine, pressure of home learning and social isolation have been a struggle for a lot of children. Whilst for other children it has given them a break from their stresses with schoolwork, or bullying; but as lockdown relaxes, then their stress levels will increase as some ‘normality’ returns.
· 22-24% of children reported persistent stress – everyday or most days – during the pandemic
· 41% of children reported feeling more stressed about schoolwork and exams since schools closed
· 50% of children reported feeling stressed about not being able to see their friends or relatives in person
Children’s Commissioner Survey (How lockdown affected children’s stress and anxiety | Children's Commissioner for England)
Children under stress can react very differently. Sometimes they might feel tearful, hide away, and stop socialising. Other times, they may feel they cannot cope and become angry and behave aggressively.
If we can give them the tools to cope with these pressures, then we can hopefully help ease the stress they will feel. Here are some tips to help children with stress.
Help your child to identify what situations and difficulties may cause them stress. Look back at times when they have been stressed and see if together you can see a common cause or situation. What was happening at that time, how did they feel, what were they thinking?
Exercise and socialisation through activities is a fantastic way for your child to reduce stress levels. Whether they love to play football, to go for a run, or they love baking or painting, taking their mind off their worries will always help. Talk to them openly and encourage them to be honest with their friends about how they are feeling at times.
A healthy diet, as well as a full night's sleep can really help reduce stress and allow our children to process feelings calmly. However, as a child gets closer to the teenage years this can prove a little more challenging. Encourage a balanced diet as much as possible and establish a good bedtime routine, with at least an hour without devices before lights out.
If your child is finding it difficult to cope, encourage them to meet with someone trained to help – this could be your GP, a therapist, or charities such as ourselves, providing space and time for vulnerable children and young people.
‘Be vocal about your problems. Don’t be scared to say stuff to people around you.’ - Anon
Learning to deal with stress can take a lot of practice, but they are skills that last a lifetime and will set your children in good stead for years ahead.
As Melissa mentioned in her earlier article on Stress Awareness Month, this year’s theme surrounding Stress Awareness Month is all about connecting with those around you and regaining control over your life and situation. Stress.org.uk are encouraging you to pick one action each for your Physical, Mental and Emotional Wellbeing to carry out every day. So, if you haven’t already, why not make a commitment between you and take part together!
If you would like to read more articles like this then please go click here to read The Island blog
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